"Love has a deep, dark, dirty secret."
The media is perfect to show us the glamorous side to love. Boy fights dragon, rescues girl, they kiss & live happily ever after, right? Wrong. It's not that easy. What about the Sleeping Beauty that is still married 15 years later, with 4 kids, 30 lbs. over weight, & struggling with depression? Where's that story? Having the perfect life or the perfect relationship is unattainable, so please folks, don't judge a book by it's cover. There's more after the "happily ever after".
Unfortunately, I've received so many comments, in the past & present, oh your life is just perfect. "You're beautiful, you just graduated college, just engaged, you're so skinny, you have so much drive, or my personal favorite, do you ever eat?" Lol, no. My life has been a real cake walk, just take a peek at my story and see. Some of the most beautiful people can be fighting the biggest demons, & you'll never know it.
It's a dangerous road to travel, to speak about someone's life, if you haven't had the chance to walk a mile in their shoes...better get your sneakers on, because here's your mile...
"Love has a deep, dark, dirty secret..."
I'm no love expert, but I know love has a deep, dark, dirty little secret. What is it? Well I'm glad you asked...Love is hard. That's it. It's gritty sometimes. It's not all smiles. It's sacrifice. It's missing your partner. It's picking that one person & wanting to drudge through the dirt with them, when they're at their worst & best. How do I know this little secret? Because I fell in love with Mark Ledbetter's heart; 4 years ago this June. I don't like to air too much about my personal relationship; people don't get it & they don't have to. But, love is:
-a 3 1/2 hour commute, one way
-seeing your fiancé 5 days, a month (yes, really)
-wanting to cry every time you have to hug them goodbye
-knowing that even though you get married, the situation probably won't change until the kids graduate, they're 9 & 10 (we're asking God's will heavily here)
-just wanting to feel their arms wrap around you at night after you've had a bad day, but can't
-feeling like a single parent still, even though you won't be soon
-dealing with the unnecessary drama of ex's, from both sides, & not running in the opposite direction
-having double the bills of a normal couple
-knowing the age difference & what that might mean in the future, & still wanting to give yourself whole heartedly
-getting to come home to an empty house, every night of the week
-wanting your partner to make you dinner or take care of you when you're sick, during the week, & that not being a possibility until much later
-whole heartedly 100% faithful & loyal after all this
-leaving by 4:30 am to make it to work, just to have a couple more hours with them
Love is dirty sometimes, that's it's secret. It's not always the beautiful face & "happily ever after" the media likes to portray it to be.
So the 2 things I'd love for you to take away. Don't judge a book by it's cover, you may have no idea how things really are. Not just focusing on this aspect on #Valentine's Day, but everyday. Secondly, find that one heart, the one that makes it worth while to drudge through the mud with, to find a way through the darkness, & to climb out of a hole with. Moments together may be bitter sweet, or fleeting at times, but I love to think of my life as a quote from The Time Traveler's Wife, Rachel McAdams, "I wouldn't change one second of our life together". 2:09 is where the water works will come in...
We get one life here on Earth, make it worth while when choosing the heart you're going to inevitably drudge through the mud with...I've found mine. #ValuesFirst
-Keri Owens