3 Tips For Value-Driven Wives

In honor of February being deemed the month of love, I reached out to one of my friends, Hannah Bowers, and asked if she could write on the subject. She rocks, so of course she said yes. Here's a little about Hannah before we dive into her 3 tips: 

Hannah is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, compelling speaker, and founder of the Young Wives Club. Currently residing in Colorado Springs with her handsome husband, you will most likely find her multitasking with her laptop, the laundry, and a food concoction in the kitchen.

Without further suspense, I give you... Hannah's 3 Tips for Value-Driven Wives:

"I’ve heard a lot of people say that marriage is hard work. I’ll admit that it definitely takes a lot of effort from both parties to continue going strong. Something, though, I think we make it harder than it has to be- particularly in how we apply values to our marriages. Being a values-driven wife isn’t a walk in the park, but in the long run, it saves us from a lot of pain and heartbreak. Today I want to share with you three choices that you can make that will not only help your marriage grow stronger but also make you a better woman.

Just say, “no,” to husband bashing (or disrespect of any kind.)

For some reason, we have been led to believe that belittling our husbands is acceptable. I’ve witnessed a number of situations where wives mercilessly tear down their men. Sometimes, with their husbands sitting just a few feet away! Talk about a conflict of interest. We are reminded in Ephesians that, as wives, we are to respect our husbands. Respect is choosing so say, “no,” to the temptation of ratting out our men, even when they honestly deserve the criticism. As difficult as it may be to exhibit self-control, publicly bashing our husbands not only causes us to focus on their imperfections but also damages others’ opinions of our husbands. Husband bashing breaks down the trust we hold with our men and diminishes their desire to confide in use. Our job, as values-driven wives, is to protect and build up the reputation of our husbands. Criticizing them - whether in a group or in private with friends, family, or strangers - makes their imperfections more of a focal point in our own hearts and breeds bitterness in the long run.

Choose to be positive.

I’ll be honest, not all situations leave us in very good moods and rarely if ever, are we confronted with the fact that negativity is an unattractive quality. It is definitely tempting to fall back on negative opinions and perspectives, but we have to remember that our mood sets the tone for everything around us. Including our marriages. As someone who struggles with a preference toward negativity, I never realized just how much affect words spoken in private can have on my husband. On multiple occasions, my negative opinions have put him in a negative mood and, likewise, caused us to turn away from positive conversation. Not only does it make the environment unpleasant, but also makes it difficult to talk about other topics because the mood then dictates negativity.

Negativity might not seem like a big deal, but as values-first wives, we have a responsibility to facilitate positive and uplifting environments in our homes and with our husbands. Philippians 4:8 reminds us to “think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.” Without realizing it, we can so easily shift our household from positivity to a negative, demeaning outlook on life. We must cling to Philippians 4:8, making it our mission statement, and use it to keep us on track with a positive approach to the situation and people around us.

Set aside time to be with your man and guard it.

I’m busy. You’re busy. We’re all busy. This is nothing new, but often the business gets in the way of our private time with our men. Being values-driven wives, we need to prioritize and guard time with our husbands. We aren’t intended to be ships passing in the night and it’s easy to let our schedules fill up without any time left over. Intentionally setting aside time with our husbands, and often saying, “no,” to things we enjoy doing, will not only benefit our marriages in the long-run but give us an opportunity to unwind as a couple. Having time daily to talk, cuddle, and rest together opens up doors for conversations that otherwise would never take place. Contrary to what society tells us, our husbands are more important than any activity or outing we have going on. Because marriage is a team effort, we have to prioritize it, guard it, and make it precious in our hearts in order to see it grow and mature."

-Hannah Bowers

For more great thoughts from Hannah, visit her website, FB Group, or FB Page.