Let him pay for it!

 

We'd only been dating about a year and a half, maybe 2, when Mark (my soon to be hubby) and I went out to dinner with my cousin and her now husband. We had a great time, was driving home, and he asked me how I liked my meal:

"It was good."

"Just good? Was something wrong with it?"

"No, it was ok." I smiled. 

He laughed, "Okay. You order salads a lot, you must really like them, huh?"

"Yea, I like salads."

"But you don't love them..."

"They're ok."

"Keri Owens!"

I knew I was in trouble then. It seems no matter how old you get and whoever does it, you still shrink down a little when someone uses your full name... thanks Mom. 

"What?!"

"You don't really love salads that much, do you?!"

"Why does this even matter? Why are we talking about my love for salads?"

"Because! You don't really like salads at all! You're just looking at the pricing, aren't you?"

"I actually really do enjoy salads."

"That wasn't my question."

"Yes, yes, ok, I'm looking at the prices. It's what I would do if I were paying for it and I just always want to be respectful and not just assume when I'm with you, ok?"

Inadvertently, I suddenly realized how much I had offended him. 

"Omgosh, how long have we been dating? I thought you just REALLY liked salads!"

I laughed... silly boy. 

"Ok, well, that's it. What REALLY is your favorite food?"

"Well, I do like steak Filets."

"It's settled then. You're not going to be stubborn and we're not going to argue about it. For the next two months, you have to order the most expensive thing on the menu... that you ACTUALLY do like. No damn salads for at least 2 months! I love you. You get what you want when you're with me."

He's so cute. He'll sometimes still look at me sideways when I order a salad (it's been almost 5 years). I just smirk.

After you've been on your own, it's hard to let someone take care of you. Trust me, it was quite interesting the first couple of years we were together (long ago, when I didn't have the greatest job), when he'd try and give me gas money (we're a long distance couple). 

It's 2016, we're independent women, we can take care of ourselves. Yes, 'tis true, but ladies, there is something to be said about chivalry:

One, you let him be a man- that's really important. There are a couple "guy cards" that you must not try and take away from your man. (Now if it's a first date, I totally advocate for going dutch)

Two, I've griped here and there about how kids and the younger men are so rude. They don't hold doors open for others and they don't say, "yes ma'am". I'm wondering now if we haven't lent to that. If we are constantly insisting on doing EVERYTHING ourselves, well, they're going to let us. 

Third, it sets a high standard for ourselves. No, we don't come with a price tag and no, we're not a bunch of snobs, but really think about it. You value yourself, enough to say, "I know I'm worth more and I expect to be with a guy that appreciates that and wants to be good to me". It's empowering. 

So ladies, let him pay for it! Let your pride stay at home that night. Let him do his duty.

- Keri 

 

 

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